I know it's been a really long time since I've posted. Early September to early December doesn't exist here, and that's okay with me if it's okay with you. I got all A's on my midterms, except for a B in my major English class. I'm okay with that. Academically, this semester has been successful. Due this week, dead week, or so they say, I have: a final paper, a final argument draft, the revision of that draft, a presentation over the final paper, a presentation outline for the final presentation, two reviews of outside speakers, and my head on a silver platter. I was kidding about that part. I'm not John the Baptist. Haha ha ha. I'm still in like with the guy, I think. He's not like me, really. He's more shy, more quiet, more kept to himself. His friends are starting to add me on Facebook. Sometimes I wonder if liking him is even a feasible idea. He's a great guy and I'm not sure.... what? I literally almost wrote I'm not sure I'm enough. Why did I just think that I'm not enough? So clearly I've got some self confidence issues I need to work through in relation to the opposite sex. This is evidenced primarily by my reaction to some recent slightly shocking news. My one-and-only real ex boyfriend, my first kiss, is married. For a little over a month now, he's been married. I knew he was engaged, yes, and I deleted him from social media to avoid moments like this, but of course they creep up anyway.
That would mean that I would actually have to tell him and I'm not sure that's a plausible option. There are way too many options and I'm too romantically inept to follow anything like this through. I just want to have somebody like that, you know? Someone to hug whenever I want, who will laugh with me and tell me when I'm being ridiculous and love me as I love them? That kind of thing. And overall, I'm just really worried that I'm never going to find it. Wow. That was mopey. I needed to vent about boys and how hard deciding what to do is when you don't think any of your options are good ones and how being lonely sucks. I won't be offended if you skipped the two columns in the middle about my ex's happiness in romance and my lack thereof. I'm sorry. Not really. I'm not sorry at all. That's what this blog is for. Hopefully I'll put it to better use sometime in the future. I'll do my most recent Compassion assignment sometime before February...hopefully.
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AuthorTwenty-something kind-of-adult woman trying to navigate her future, her calling, and her God. Archives
August 2017
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